Right now...

Infused

Iron drips and slinks deep into my veins while
those around me suffer through intravenous poison...
I prefer mine orally...
Later I'll scrub, wash, cook, organize, and rear...
But now I sit, swaddled in a clinic...
Content.
Alone, as usual.
Apologies fall like hail, pelting my dignity as I feign detachment from those who care not...
The pages of my book flutter along as I devour the world I've never seen beyond the bind...
Off tune 90's radio lilting through my mind...
Mouths move around me, eyes caught, awkward smiles and avoidance...
What's so funny?
Don't worry about it...
I'll tell you later...
Always put the greater good first,
Who decides what is good and
When is it my turn...
I'm selfish, self centered, and guilt ridden by self derision...
Filthy, crumbling, decaying tiles pave every beautiful room I leave...
Mumbling doctors and exhausted nurses the only witnesses to my purgatory...
Carve a smile on my tired face
Paint on beauty
Washes down the drain with...
Clumps of hair and...
Chunks of mascara and...
Memories that serve only to distract.