If I could describe the last month in one word it would be, "Sleep." I fall asleep early, wake up and hustle the kids to school, then fall back asleep until it is time to pick them up. I grab them back from school and try to catch up on the insidious pile of laundry tumbling out of the hamper, do a round of dishes, wipe the bathroom down and rearrange some pillows. Then I lie down exhausted and try to answer homework questions from my Hello Kitty cave before throwing together a dinner. Every day I feel a little better. Every doctor's visit I get news, some good, some bad. Nothing tragic and nothing life changing. Sometimes when I am at the store and JT is helping me find what I need I stop and look around and for the millionth time I wonder what it would be like to be them. The same answer generally bounces back at me, and it says I wouldn't want to be. I like myself, oddly enough I love my life. Besides if I wasn't me I wouldn't have the family I have, and I don't know anyone with a family I would rather have. That may be the irrationality of human nature speaking, but I am comfortable with that.
In fact I am generally very comfortable lately. People have disappeared, as I knew they would, and I just can't muster the empathy to care. I've had the same best friends for a very long time and they aren't going anywhere. My family has proven themselves, not that they needed to, but time and again they do so anyway. I am surrounded by people I trust and love. People who handle everything because they want me to just rest so I can get better. What more can a girl ask for? Probably a lot of things, but no matter what you get there is always something else to want, so I choose to just be happy as I am.
I was definitely happy last weekend at the Long Beach Marathon with the NF Endurance Team!! My fave weekend of the year (right up there with Christmas, don't judge, I love fudge and presents.) So our entire team kicked butt. JT did the kids' run with Haley, and smashed the mile in 9mn! Paul's little brother Thomas kicked the 5K's ass, I mean he is like 14 and finished in 21:30. I wanted to adopt him and train him I swear. Uncle Franky and I stuck together for the 5K, for my safety and his motivation. I yelled at him the entire last quarter mile, then we ran into Sarah Johnson, and I grabbed JT from the cheerleaders, and we all ran in as well as we could for a big finish. It felt wonderful and I was proud of everyone involved!
Now its back to life as usual, whatever that may be for me, it works.