What a world... what a world....

I've been up since 4am. If you know me at all, you know I am a total bitch right now and would do horrible things to innocent people in my quest for adequate sleep. Unfortunately I cannot rip my own bladder out. I get urinary tract infections (UTI's) chronically and have since I was 12. If that is TMI for you go find a man's blog and read about cars because right now I don't give a flip. If you have never had a UTI, it feels like a small fire right in the place most women would hope to never have a fire, I mean unless that's your thing. It starts as a tickle, and within an hour I'm confined to my bathroom with a gallon of water, a bag of craisins, vicodin (I mean hey why not?) and a magazine. As I sat contemplating why my traiterous body is so intent on misbehaving, Paul woke up for work and came in to get ready. He had the damn nerve to tell me he wanted the toilet, I'm like do you see I am glued to this spot writhing in agony? Or close to it at least. Go use the other bathroom! Then he *sighed* at me! At me? I silently cursed him and gave him my silent evil jedi stare... he stalked off to the other bathroom and left me to whine in peace. I sat so long I think my butt still has a red ring on it. Supposedly Alka Seltzer provides "immediate relief" so at 5 am I found myself rifling impatiently through my huge medicine box which somehow has accumulated a whole lot of expired vicodin (how did that expire?) but no Alka Seltzer! I popped my emergency stash of antibiotics and am just as of this moment feeling a teeny bit better... but this better clear up because no way in hell am I running 13 miles at 6 am with a UTI this weekend!