Continuing Bio30

I have been on Propolis Bio30 for 18 months now. While following the ongoing discussions revolving around the treatment on Trial Talk mailing list, I found that my blog on propolis is listed under the Bio30 publications! I feel so legitimate. I have actually been reconsidering continuing the Bio30 Propolis. In the time I have been taking it I have had no tumor growth, however I am unsure if I believe it is due to the propolis, or simply because I am not pubescent, pregnant, nursing or on birth control for the first time since age 13. Hormones are intricately connected to tumor growth. I spoke with Dr. Adler from Stanford University, who actually created the Cyber Knife, this week. I adore him, he has a wonderful personality and a fierce intelligence. He told me he is skeptical I am "getting anything for my money" with Bio30. So the last few days I have mulled it over, I would hate to stop taking it and then have one of my many tumors try to grow freakishly large and cause irreperable damage. If I did stop, and the tumors then started growing, I would have really good evidence that it does work. Then I can just begin therapy again, and know JT can take it at age 10. I am not sure if that is a risk I should take. My tumors have been stable for longer than they have ever been. Long enough that most of my new friends have no true idea of how sick I get, or why I run. I have rebuilt my life since the last surgery and losing the rest of my hearing. I have a great group of girlfriends, my running, I've gotten more fit and healthy then I thought possible for myself. I think it is best to play it safe, and continue the propolis, and just be grateful I am even able to try anything at all.

Today is the first day of my new weekly training schedule! I have to get my legs a lot stronger if they are going to carry me 26.2 miles in October. Since my next race is several months away, for the next month I am going to focus on weight training as much as I can without injury, weight training is my favorite part of my routine! It goes by fast with obvious reward for my efforts. I've always had chicken legs, to the point that I look ridiculous trying to wear tennis shoes with shorts, but I have gained a bit of muscle over the last year and plan on really defining them over the next 2 months. Since I met my first goal of 2009, to run a 5K in under 30mn, I am on to the next... be in a bikini by summer! Today I woke up and bright sun crept through my blinds, as I realized the weather is warming up it also occured to me that I have 3 months to meet that goal! I refuse to diet, choosing instead to try to eat in moderation, and cook good healthy foods. I really feel that if I don't binge, and stick to this training regimen, I will be shopping far away from the Mommy-One-Pieces I have learned to hide in. Not that my 1 piece isn't cute!!

Don't even ask!

Pasadena Marathon 5k 29:41!

I dragged my husband and kids all the way to Pasadena at 5am today for the inaugural Pasadena Marathon. Remind me to never attend an inaugural race again. It was so ridiculously unorganized, they put the wrong directions on the information sheets! Only 10 porta potties for 8000 people! Paul and the kids stood with me in the rain for an hour as we waited for the race to start, but as soon as they called for the 5K racers to line up I sent them to the van to wait. They ran into the dark with chattering teeth and I headed to the start line alone. I quickly scanned the race bibs people wore and aligned myself with a few girls who had 5K race bibs tacked to their shirts so I would know when to start. After a few minutes they started moving forward, and slowly I saw the race crowd start to move. Heads bobbed above the plastic trash bags the experienced racers knew would keep them warm until the race, discarded in careless piles along the road as the runners broke out from the pack. Annoying road-hogging walkers who should have just done the 5K fun run and been behind us turned the starting line into an obstacle course, weaving and cutting for the first half mile slowed me down and gave me a chance to warm up. Suddenly I saw a break in the crowd and took off running. My body quickly warmed but my thick CTF hoodie felt great with the wind chill cooling my exposed skin. I hit the first mile marker and did what I always do, I looked around me for the thickest calves and tried to hold my pace to their's as they pounded the pavement, the runner's face invisible to me as I matched their gait. One by one they either disappeared in front or behind me, and soon I reached the turnaround. There was no mile marker for mile 2, or clocks on the course! I shook it off and focused on breathing deeply, congestion threatening my oxygen intake, but with such a short race you can't lose time worrying about breathing. You just run, balls out, hard, until you see the finish and then throw everything in you into that last quarter mile. Legs slamming hard into the empty road, spectators flashing by in splashes of color, smile for the camera and... it's over! As quickly as it started, it has ended, and you find yourself in a crowd of runners. I put my arms above my head and sucked in the cold air, took the snacks from the volunteers to give to the kids and poured water down my burning throat. I wore my medal proudly as I walked past the festival finish line and went straight to the car, where my own little congratulatory crew awaited. I was met with kisses and hugs, and a trip to Coco's! I had to wait all day for my official stats and am very happy with them!


Overall: 216 out of 748
Women: 91 out of 472
F 25-29: 19 out of 80
Finish: 29:41 Pace: 9:33

I am stoked I am 19th out of 80 for my age group! That is better than I have ever scored. Next stop, a sub 1 hour 10K!

Pay it Forward... again...

Ok so apparently I suck at doing a giveaway contest! I should have posted it as it's own post instead of hidden at the end of a long post. SO...

The first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive a gift (possibly handmade) from me during this year. When and what will be a surprise. There's a small catch though...post this same thing on your own blog and then come back and leave a comment telling me you're in, along with a link!

Remember, only the first 3 comments receive the gift!
Thanks Pris for posting this, no tag backs!

5K in 29 minutes!

Check one goal off of my New Years resolution list! Today I ran 3.1 miles, a 5K, in 29 minutes!! Thats about a 9 1/2 mn mile held for just over 3 miles! I am so proud of myself to reach my first speed goal. I hate to pat myself on the back, but just this once, I need to. Sure as I stumbled to a halt at the spot www.MapMyRun.com told me would be 3.1 miles from my starting place, my lungs ached and my legs burned. I dry heaved for about 5 minutes, then tasted blood every time I spit. I got a bit dizzy and felt completely detached from my surroundings as I walked back home. As I spit out more nausea and held my arms over my head to get some oxygen to my side stitches, I was smiling like a lunatic... a lunatic with weakness on the entire left side of my body and bilateral deafness and balance issues who just ran 3 miles in 29 minutes! I have cause to celebrate but this is only a training run, so I need to slow my proverbial roll and stick to the schedule for one more week. Next Sunday I'll run the Pasadena 5K and plan to finish even faster!

New Training Schedule
Yoga after each session

Tuesday- Cross Train (elliptical or swimming for 45mn)and weight training
Wednesday- 5k Tempo Run
Friday- Intervals on treadmill, 4 miles w/ 8x400 @ 7.5mph and weight training
Sunday- Long Run, work up to 20 miles every Sunday!

With this schedule I know I will continue to meet every goal set!

I can see clearly now....

About 5 years ago I was driving my Olds '98 on the freeway home from visiting my Mom in the nursing home, when suddenly everything became incredibly blurry, and as I blinked my vision snapped into 2 equal images! There were multiple freeway lanes in front of me, I was driving 70 mph, and had my baby in the backseat. I tried to stay calm, although I had no idea what was happening and was already deaf as well. Luckily I had JT's biological father with me and when I started crying he realized I was not kidding and we carefully maneuvered off the freeway. We immediately pulled over and I was hysterical, I could not focus on anything without seeing two images overlaying each other diagonally. As soon as my Dad came and rescued me we called Dr. Duma, my neurologist. A look at my most recent MRI showed that I had a tumor near my optic nerve, or on it, I actually do not specifically remember. For several days I stayed home, unable to read or drive, terrified I was going to be both hearing and vision impaired for the rest of my life, and single with a tiny baby. Dr. Duma recommended Gamma Knife, an acute radiation therapy which utilizes multiple beams of Gamma Rays pinpointed to meet right inside of the tumor target. While it was wonderful that I could avoid traditional brain surgery, which would not even be an option in this area anyway, it also meant having the head frame bolted to my head in 4 places for an entire morning. I left JT with a sitter and went for the treatment with my Dad and Tish. This was not my first Gamma Knife treatment, and I did my best to get through it uneventfully. Within a very short period of time my double vision decreased slightly, and I was able to correct it with prismatic glasses. During a follow up MRI the tumor showed necrosis, meaning it was suffering from cell death at its core. Eventually my double vision became only a slight nuisance, I only wore my glasses when I was tired and my eyes began to strain. Today I visited the optometrist and was told my double vision is gone! My eyes are working together again, and I have no need for prismatic glasses! It was a long journey to where I am, and I am excited that technology has progressed so far that a person with nerve damage from NF2 may be able to utilize laser technology rather than be subject to repeated invasive surgery.

Now imagine what may come with full access to stem cell research! Hey I'm in a good mood so let's do a GIVEAWAY!

The first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive a gift (possibly handmade) from me during this year. When and what will be a surprise. There's a small catch though...post this same thing on your own blog and then come back and leave a comment telling me you're in, along with a link!

Remember, only the first 3 comments receive the gift!
Thanks Pris for posting this, no tag backs!

Bearing the Burden of Fear

Let's cut to the chase, Paul went back to court yesterday to face charges stemming from the bar fight he was in and met the public defender. He was arraigned for assault with intent to great bodily harm, and plead not guilty. He was told the maximum punishment would be 7 years in state prison, but the DA already offered him 1 year in county if he takes a felony. The PD (public defender) advised him not to take that, and they are all working together to make a deal. Paul has already told the PD he would accept house arrest with a misdemeanor charge, but the PD told him to hold off on anything for now. So for now we wait, which has to be the hardest part. On one hand I want as much time with Paul as possible, on the other I want all of this behind us. Sometimes I manage to go as long as a week pretending everything is normal, then I will be faced with a sudden reminder and the entire facade comes crashing down. It doesn't help that Paul still refuses to treat this seriously, and actually thinks this is no big deal. He is convinced nothing will come of it, and that he will walk away unscathed, which would be the story of his life to be fair. Things usually fall in Pauls favor, but I just need him to admit that this time it may not be that easy. I need him to bear the burden of fear with me, but I just don't see him validating my concerns unless he is forced to.

Now I am supposed to go for my last long run before my 5k in 2 weeks, but I just don't feel like it. Someone give me some motivation!