Bearing the Burden of Fear

Let's cut to the chase, Paul went back to court yesterday to face charges stemming from the bar fight he was in and met the public defender. He was arraigned for assault with intent to great bodily harm, and plead not guilty. He was told the maximum punishment would be 7 years in state prison, but the DA already offered him 1 year in county if he takes a felony. The PD (public defender) advised him not to take that, and they are all working together to make a deal. Paul has already told the PD he would accept house arrest with a misdemeanor charge, but the PD told him to hold off on anything for now. So for now we wait, which has to be the hardest part. On one hand I want as much time with Paul as possible, on the other I want all of this behind us. Sometimes I manage to go as long as a week pretending everything is normal, then I will be faced with a sudden reminder and the entire facade comes crashing down. It doesn't help that Paul still refuses to treat this seriously, and actually thinks this is no big deal. He is convinced nothing will come of it, and that he will walk away unscathed, which would be the story of his life to be fair. Things usually fall in Pauls favor, but I just need him to admit that this time it may not be that easy. I need him to bear the burden of fear with me, but I just don't see him validating my concerns unless he is forced to.

Now I am supposed to go for my last long run before my 5k in 2 weeks, but I just don't feel like it. Someone give me some motivation!