1. The guy with the veins popping out of his neck who gets off the machine and just walks away, leaving his steroid-infested man stanky sweat in puddles on the seat. You know you are supposed to wipe that up, keep your ring worm to yourself nasty!
2. Chick on the stairmaster with hair fully styled and not at all in a ponytail... if you were actually working out you would want your hair up. Stop posing on all the equipment and get the hell out of my way before I break your nails.
3. Personal trainer who you specifically tell you want to learn the resistance machines, and then creates a "routine" for you using nothing but free weights and trainer tools in the hopes of forcing you to pay for more personal sessions. Right, because not listening is the best way to get repeat customers.
4. Weird little old dude who sits across from you, and you can feel his creepy old ass eye-molesting you while you press. Oddly, he doesn't do anything but sit on random machines!
5. Girl who floats in on her implants... in any other situation I don't care, but how the hell am I supposed to focus and sweat when you freaking cheat your way to a perfect body then come in here acting like you bench pressed those things out of your pecs??
6. Bad ass bebe kid trying to hit my innocent child in the daycare and teach him bad words. What is your problem? Why are you so angry? I know it smells like feet in here, and your Mom is off flirting with weird little old dude, but damn suck it up and leave my baby alone!
7. Person with a blue tooth on while working out... you are not that important and none of us are fooled. If you had such a demanding job why is your ass at the gym on a Monday morning? So not only are you unemployed, you go to the gym and pretend to work out, because sweat would completely ruin that fugly thing you've hot glued to your ear. God help you if its bedazzled.
8. 16 year old sitting on a machine text messaging, how did you get a membership? Don't they have age requirements here? Shouldn't you be in the daycare waiting for your Mom? Get the hell off the machine, just because their isn't a line doesn't mean I'm not waiting for it to open up from across the room. We all know your generation can't be expected to understand actual human relations, so go home and google some Tae Bo on You Tube and frigging get out of my way.
9. Old tiny asian lady with the huge bush walking around naked in the locker room. Cover your muff, it's scaring me.
10. Girl in jeans and makeup on the sit up machine, are you really that broke or just tacky? I'm guessing tacky since you could afford the membership. Or maybe this is a free trial which would explain why I probably will never see you here again, so get out of my way.
*Weird deaf girl who sits in judgement of everyone and never moves when you say excuse me!*