No More Water Slides!

Yesterday I was up at 6am, running just over 8 miles, jumping in an ice bath, and feeling very accomplished with the start of my day. My abs felt tight deep in the core, which was a sign I was correctly following the ChiRunning posture I was aiming for. Paul and I set out for Raging Waters just the two of us…

…Little did I know what was in store for me…

I should have known I could not get through an entire day of physical water slides without incident. I have always been accident prone, the scars on my knees attest to my supreme klutziness. At each slide I grilled the operator… “Has anyone ever died on this ride? Has anyone ever broken a bone?” The young lifeguards earnestly answered no, but I could see the lies etched on their faces. As I neared my turn on the Speed Slides I started to panic, my heart lurched in fear as I stared down the dizzying drops of the slides. Paul encouraged me and next thing I knew I was whipping around in the water, screaming my head off… “Paaaaulllll I haaaaate yoouuuuuuu!!!!!!!!” (I don’t mean it, don’t get upset now) In sheer terror I squeezed my eyes shut and felt the world drop out from under me, having studiously counted the drops while in line, after the second drop I took a deep breath and braced myself. I slammed hard into the water, my top flew up, and the world seemed incredibly far away. I started swimming for the surface but only felt concrete everywhere I reached. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I remembered people on the crew discussing how vestibular nerve damage from the tumors we grow in that area can cause you to not know which way is up under water… a primal fear wrenched my entire soul and I became incredibly desperate to reach the top. Kicking, flailing, looking for anything to swim toward but surrounded by nothing I suddenly spotted Paul’s shorts. Within seconds he had pulled me up and out of the water and was staring into my eyes in urgent concern. I gasped, sucking in the precious air, dizzy, completely discombobulated. I choked out, “I didn’t know which way was up!” Having doubted my balance issues in the past and thinking them a huge cover-up for having had a few too many beers (or vodkas), Paul told me “I believe you now!” and hugged me tight to him. I was so incredibly shaken, nevermind that the water was only a few feet deep, that I was drowning as much as Little John in the creek on Robin Hood, I was completely lost under that water and was incredibly grateful Paul realized I wasn’t just messing around and pulled me out. The lifeguard was yelling at as to exit the pool, never left her stand or showed a slight bit of concern. I jokingly told Paul she was yelling "No Drowning! If you are going to drown, please exit the poooool!" As I dragged myself out like a drowned dog I could only say one thing… No more water slides!!