Today, in the early hours of dawn as Paul left for work, my babies both crept into our bed and conformed their little bodies to my warmth. As I stirred gently from my sleep I wrapped my arms tightly around each of them and breathed a sigh of relief as I settled in for my favorite part of the day. Today I can walk around without a vice on my chest, and I can look at the rainy sky but see hope, because yesterday JT's MRIs came back clear!
JT checked into St. Joseph's yesterday around 8am, then went through a barage of paperwork and questions. He was so brave, teasing the nurses and pretending to be asleep! Finally at 10am I carried him back to the MRI room, where the anesthesiologist gave him gas and he drifted off to sleep. His little eyebrows were pursed with worry, and I masked my own fear as the nurse ushered me from the room. An hour later I sat in recovery holding him as he twitched and fought his way back from the imposed darkness. In years past this was the worst moment, he would wake in confusion and completely hysterical as we held him down. This year after about a half an hour of rocking his tiny limp body he gradually lifted his head up and peeked out at me, and with a sideways little smile he let me know he was awake! At first he was wobbly, and didn't understand why he couldn't walk. So Tish and I loaded him and hospital monkey in a huge wheelchair and wheeled him over to the Cancer Center for his neurological exam. At some point the last of the anesthesia cleared and he happily informed us he could walk and discarded the wheelchair. Dr. Loudon's PA spent at least a half an hour with JT, examining him thoroughly and even playing Guitar Hero on JT's DS! The exam was completely unremarkable, JT's vision in his bad eye has even improved a bit. Other than that ongoing issue JT is completely healthy, and will be seen again next year. Next month his speech, hearing, and vision will be re-evaluated, but these tests are mostly for progressive purposes.
JT is at school running and playing with the other children, no one doubts he is the same, and I only hope he can hold on to that illusion a bit longer.